


Can you (imagine it)

by TashxTARDIS



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, FitzSimmons Secret Santa, Fluff, Reunion Fic, post 5x22
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-13
Packaged: 2019-10-03 11:48:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17283497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TashxTARDIS/pseuds/TashxTARDIS
Summary: Based loosely on the lyrics to the song "Imagine" By Ariana Grande. Jemma's point of view of her reunion with Fitz. The first chapter is introspection to Jemma's feelings and mindset during her search for Fitz and the future chapters are their reunion and the aftermath.This is for the 2018 Fitzsimmons secret Santa exchange.Not Beta'd. Any mistakes are my own





	1. Imagine a world like that

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ritalara](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ritalara/gifts).



Can you (imagine it)

Jemma imagines her future with Fitz as she wakes for him to wake up.

Chap 1

_Step out the two of us/nobody knows us/get in the car like skrrt_

Jemma had hoped that she would be able to hold Fitz as soon as she found him. She’d imagine it when she lay awake in bed at night. And when she fell asleep, she’d dream of it too.

But Enoch had informed her that for Fitz to wake up safely she would have to wait.

And while she waited, she imagined.

She imagined the date they would go on when they were safe and sound back on earth. And then her imagination became a memory as she remembered her and Fitz’s real first date. Not the one where she had spent the whole time a blubbery mess. This date had taken place after Lincoln had died after Coulson stepped down and after Mace had taken his place. Things had been so hectic that they barely had time to be together.

At the first whisper of quiet Fitz had booked them a weekend away. He took them to a beautiful hotel, not far from the base but far away from the drama and the chaos that had been keeping Jemma up at night.

That night was in Jemma’s top ten nights. It would probably place third, following the night they had shared in Bucharest. The first was her wedding night. Even if her marriage felt void now, she would always remember that night.

But all that seemed so far away now, as Jemma sat on a metal chair in a spaceship, light years away from home, waiting for the love of her life to wake up.

_We go like up 'til I'm 'sleep on your chest / Love how my face fits so good in your neck_

Jemma imaged what their reunion would be like. His face when they first lock eyes. The surprise that shone in those ocean blue eyes. The prickling of her skin when his arms brushed her as he pulled her against his body. His lips against hers. The night they would spend together. Falling asleep next to him. Waking in his arms.

But that was a daydream. There was a nightmare to come.

His confusion as to why he’s been woken up early. As to why Jemma is here and not lost  75 years in the future. As to why she’s wearing a wedding ring. The argument that was likely to come about the Fitz that had died. But the biggest nightmare was the one that featured Daisy. Why Daisy couldn’t stand to be around him. What happened. Fitz blaming himself despite it never being his fault.

Would he feel lost?

Would he resent her for wearing the wedding ring of a dead man? Even if that man was right in front of her, skin warm and heart beating.

Would he feel like her sloppy seconds?

Would he still want to be with her?

_Knew you were perfect after the first kiss / Took a deep breath like, "Ooh"_

Maybe things would be less complicated if they had stayed friends. Best friends.

Maybe things would be less complicated if they had never left their lab.  

Jemma had hoped. She had hoped that maybe after that first kiss that this romance thing was not for them. That it would be too weird, and they should stay friends.

But the opposite had happened. With the press of his lips to hers, her feelings intensified. They solidified. She was done for. This was it for her. She had fallen in love with her best friend and there was no going back.

And she would never go back.

Being with Fitz was like watching your favourite film on a stormy day. Warm and cozy and safe.

And being with Fitz was the storm.

It was too late for her. She was in the eye and there was nowhere to run.

Jemma remembered the months after the first kiss. The longing glances at the back of his head. The awkwardly sitting at the other end of the couch. The silence. She swapped as many words with Fitz in those three months that she would on an average day. And none of those words were about her or him or them.

It was terrifying.

Because he was right there. She could see him and touch him and speak with him. But she couldn’t have him. Not as a lover. Not as a friend.

Would that happen again? Would he move all his stuff out of their bunk? Would he only speak to her when necessary?

Would he leave?

The possible outcomes to this situation swirled inside her head. They blocked her vision. They cut off her air flow. Her breathing was ragged. Her hands tingled as she placed them firmly on the side of the stasis chamber. She planted her feet securely on the ground.

She took deep breaths in and out.

She was getting better at this. The come down.

They couldn’t have therapists on the Zephyr. But Jemma had gone over all this stuff with Andrew after getting back from Maveth and she had a good memory.

Can you imagine it? / Can you imagine it? / Can you imagine it? / Can you imagine it?

Jemma looked at the timer on the stasis chamber. Less than an hour now.

Relief swelled through her bones.

Because it had been a relief.

It was like a gulp of air after almost drowning.

Because she had been drowning. Drowning in grief and fear and anxiety. She had cried enough tears to drown in.

And she felt as if she were underwater. Her vision had been blurred. The noises around her were muffled. She had been in a black abyss.

It was sort of ironic that her savior bore a set of ocean blue eyes.

Eyes that she had, in the past, drowned in.

But that ocean wasn’t a deep black abyss. That ocean was the beech they had visited during their trip to The Seychelles. Perfect white sand and clear blue water that was warm as it licked at her toes.

That ocean was soft kisses on the beach and candlelight dinners and intertwined hands. Heaven, Jemma had described it on the plane ride back to the base. That was what heaven was like.

It was her daydream come to life.

And as she watched the seconds count down on the stasis chamber, she realized her nightmares were waking too.


	2. As long as your the name on my tattooed he

_Can you imagine a world like that?_

Fitz’s eyes opened, and Jemma broke the surface.

He was shivering when the pod opened and hadn’t thought-

“Mack!” she screamed “Daisy!”

She wrapped herself around him, rubbing her hands down his arms, her face buried deep in his hair.

“Jemma?” Fitz’s muffled voice was laced with confusion. He hadn’t expected this. He had expected to wake up in 75 years. Not four months later in the arms of his love. She knew this, and at this moment she didn’t care. He was here, and he was alive. He was warm and soft.  She wasn’t clinging to a cold dead corpse.

“Hey” she murmured into his hair. Tears were slipping out now, wetting his already moist hair. Jemma let them. She let her relief flow through her like a cold shower on a hot day.

The door opened behind her and Mack walked in, holding a blanket and a glass of water.

Jemma reluctantly let go of Fitz and grabbed the blanket of Mack. She wrapped it snugly around him, letting her arm rest around his shoulders. Mack handed Fitz the glass of water. He gulped it down eagerly and handed the glass back to Mack.

“can you get me another one?” Fitz’s voice was hoarse, and it made Jemma smile. It was his 'Jemma woke me up way too early and I’m grumpy' voice. It was her favorite voice because only she got to hear it. Early in the morning when they were still tucked up in bed. When Jemma had to leave but she could spare five more minutes. Which usually turned to fifteen if Fitz got his way.

Jemma wasn’t sure if she’d have that for a while. She wasn’t sure how Fitz would feel about the whole situation.

And that scared her.

But she let her fears go. For now. Her priority was Fitz and making sure he was warm and safe. He’d probably want a shower and a change of Clothes. And knowing Fitz he’d be starving.

Jemma rested her chin atop his head “I missed you so much” she whispered.

“Me too,” Fitz whispered back “like you couldn’t imagine. But I’m so confused. How did you get here? Did Enoch find you? Have you found a way home? When they said you were missing, I didn’t really think that you had been taken to the future. It was a bit of a shock.”

Jemma chuckled “same here. But no, we’re not in the future anymore.”

“How?” Fitz asked.

“It’s a long story. That I will tell you after you’ve showered and changed and eaten.”

She probably could have told him now, but she wanted to hold onto this for as long as possible. A Fitz that wanted her. That didn’t resent her.

_Stay up till midnight / order me pad thai / then we gon sleep till noon_

Jemma sat across from Fitz, watching silently as he tucked into his microwave macaroni and cheese. She wished she could give him something more wholesome but stocking food on the Zephyr was difficult when they were venturing into deep space. She’d spent the past four months eating frozen veggies and microwave dinners.

“so, what happened?” Fitz asked after swallowing his final bite. “how did you get back?”

Jemma sighed. She couldn’t hold this off any longer. “It’s a long story. And I don’t want you to react until you know everything.”

And then she told him. She started at the beginning. How she felt when she saw him in the future. The proposal. How they got home. The wedding. Fitz’s death. Finding him. He didn’t move at all while she spoke. His face blank. She couldn’t gage any sort of reaction out of him and it terrified her.

She left some stuff out. It would be all too much to tell him all this and his snap in one sitting. She didn’t think he could handle it, she didn’t think that he was handling anything she was saying. And if she was honest with herself, she wasn’t ready for that part either. For one moment she could have a Fitz that only slightly hated himself and his actions.

When she finished her story, he finally moved. He ground his fists against his eyes and nodded. He pushed himself out of his chair and started pacing the room.

“And so what am I? A backup Fitz. Second best to the man that you married.”

Jemma sighed. This is what she was afraid of.

“No Fitz. Of course not. And that doesn’t even make any sense because you are the same person. I’m not settling for you. I don’t know why you always think that?”

He halted and spun to face her “Because you always do. I’m always second best. The one you settle for after the one you really want is gone.”

“You mean _Will,_ don’t you? You think I settled for you after Will died. Fitz, that’s laughable.” She couldn’t help the giggle that burst out of her at the thought.

“what do you mean?” He asked, “Why is it so funny?”

Jemma closed the distance between her and Fitz, taking both his hands in hers. Despite being frozen for the last four months, Fitz’s hands were as warm as usual. ‘It’s a Scottish thing’ he had always said. Her own personal space heater.

“I never settled for you after Will,” She told him, “And I’m not settling for you now.”

He shook his head and opened his mouth to speak, but Jemma spoke before he could.

“I settled for _Will_ , Fitz. I waited, and I hoped that somehow you would find me, or I would find my way home. I planned our whole first date. I planned what our cottage would look like. I dreamed about having children with you. I planned their names and what their bedrooms would look like. I planned our whole wedding from my dress to the design on the handles of the forks. But I lost hope. No. _Will_ made me lose hope. And so, I settled for him because what else was I ever going to get. But I never settled for you. _Never_ ”

She didn’t have a chance to say anything else before Fitz pressed his mouth against hers. It was messy and passionate and painstakingly beautiful. And they fit, but this they had always known. They kissed until the need for air became too much and even then, they stayed locked in their embrace, their foreheads pressed together.

“I think it’s ironic,” Fitz whispered, “That I am the one who's spent the last four months frozen in a cryofreeze chamber, but your hands are freezing.”


End file.
